Turk, Turk, The boozehound
There are no ladies around
Can't stop whacking off

Sweet Kaitlyn, ass so
Nice, I'd gladly tap that once
or twice, please, please, please

Robbing the cradle
Tyler my man, she's not yet
legal, stop your hands

Another shindig
here at Leno's, Why are we
all still wearing clothes?

A glass in hand, his
dick's there too. Quinn, there's ladies
present, learn to share

Ashley! You've brought food!
Infinite bacon machine
I love you so much!

Now I raise a toast
To the man we all love most
Here's to me, fuckers