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Reviews for Vex and Veil
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Macha posted on July 09, 2011, 08:14:44 AM for chapter #7 Excellent
Macha I admit, I got a little lost at times with the plot line, but that's more my fault than yours. I'm really enjoying reading this story. Smiley Up to chapter 7 now and waiting to see how things progress!
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Redsliver the story's author responded on July 10, 2011, 05:40:13 PM
Redsliver I'll admit I'm a little lost with the plot myself. Due to some technical difficulties, I won't be updating today. By next Sunday I should be able to rewrite or recover the next 4k words.
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Big Samurai posted on July 03, 2011, 07:06:33 PM for chapter #7 Excellent
Big Samurai Both of these chapters set things up for what might be either a major development or the climax of the story. Avoiding exposition in order to simply show what happens works in your favor, IMO, since all the text that could be spent on building up this world instead goes directly into the story and keeps the pace going. You are certainly welcome to indulge a little build-up if you feel it will serve the text, but I do not find it necessary, as it is not difficult to follow things as they are now. Letting the reader draw her / his own conclusions is quite effective here.
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Redsliver the story's author responded on July 03, 2011, 10:35:36 PM
Redsliver I actually wrote about a thousand words expositing what I the magic, demons and hunters were doing but found it ugly to read and not necessarily the way I wanted to go. It's good to know it's not a device that has immediate necessity.
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Big Samurai posted on June 27, 2011, 03:06:19 PM for chapter #5 Excellent
Big Samurai I had originally wondered at the purpose of the widow, but her presence now makes sense, and all of the different elements are coming together to make for a climax once the incubus is cornered. Maintaining a good pace and a fine feel for description! My only note is that there are a few instances of irregular capitalization, but those are quite minor. Good to hear that the inspiration has yet to wane, so I hope to see more of this soon.
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Redsliver the story's author responded on June 27, 2011, 05:51:29 PM
Redsliver There are a few things I decided to capitalize midway through writing: Mistress, Snowcloak and Sister being the ones that come to mind, but I've been hit or miss with it.
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Big Samurai posted on June 20, 2011, 01:14:18 PM for chapter #3 Excellent
Big Samurai You did all of this on the fly? It feels professional to me, and everything interlocks as if you had a plan from the beginning. If this is improvisation, you have done a sound job. Strong, sensual, easy-to-imagine characters in a set of scenes that are simple to pick up and follow. In Chapters 2 and 3, it might help to add breaks between key scenes, but I had no issues following the string of events. All told, a good story, and I hope that you have not yet exhausted your initial burst of inspiration.
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Redsliver the story's author responded on June 20, 2011, 03:22:28 PM
Redsliver Thank you. I was as surprised as yourself that these three chapters flowed as well as they did. I'll take a second look at the scene changes in each of the chapters. I do have more on the burner but not until I write a predestined fight scene between a zombie and an animated rag doll.
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